Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
