I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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