Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
