Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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