Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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