i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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