it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize