my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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