The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
These tits shall not be calmed
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
