Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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