Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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