Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
So squirting runs in the family.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
