he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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