I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
