I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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