I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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