No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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