We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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