I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
