no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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