I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
