You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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