Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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