I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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