Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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