he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
