I want to stick my p in your. b.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm both gender and math confused
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
