dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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