she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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