she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
