My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
