you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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