The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
