I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
