Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
