i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
