he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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