I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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