help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize