EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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