Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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