I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
