She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
