Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
