I just made out with a guy for $7.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He passed out mid-signature
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
