Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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