Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize