This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
