shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
These tits shall not be calmed
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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