I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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