Where did you get a picture of my penis
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
