you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
