yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
