Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
