her vagina looked like bernie madoff
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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