What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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