Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
