Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
