She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
