That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
