she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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