You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
