Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
